I stopped sharing any of my written work publicly around three years ago. I think this is down to the fact that I moved to London, and became increasingly aware that all of these industry people who I wanted to so desperately impress, would read it and potentially judge me. People judge each other regardless, but that isn't why I'm writing this.
Writing has always been a way for me to process my thoughts. I believe I'll always be able to articulate myself better through written words, than any other medium of communication. My phone will forever be filled with hundreds of unfinished notes, never fully completed sentences or thoughts, and the odd drunken rant too. However recently, I've tried to be more forthcoming with dealing with things in person. Face to face, with no barriers and no room for mistakes. No take backs and no delete key. It has been interesting, and I'm actually a little surprised at how much it has helped me. Yet this made me realise that I haven't written anything for the longest time, and I miss it.
Which brings me to this. A little blog in the corner of the internet, that exists for no sole reason except to share pretty photos, and maybe now with the added commentary of my musings and mumbles. I hadn't really planned what to say in this post, and I can't imagine I'll plan the others. But lately I have been taking some time to focus on myself. That cliche phrase that everyone loves to overuse I know, but now I'm on the bandwagon too. But I'm so glad that I'm doing this. We are all a work in progress, and change doesn't happen overnight. So I'm concentrating on the little things; like drinking more water and getting better quality sleep. I'm learning to stop worrying less and how to value your own worth. I really feel like I'm at a crossroads with many things in my life, professionally and personally, and admitting that may make me naive or vulnerable, but I've always found that there is a charm associated with being able to be open. So here I am writing this, trying to strip back my thoughts and already remembering why writing feels so good.
x
“At some point you have to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep other people out, they fence you in. Life is messy, that’s how we’re made. So you can waste your life drawing lines, or you can live your life crossing them.”